Back to reality

After a gentle bumble on a train back from Thurso to Inverness past all the lovely scenery we'd ridden past in the other direction, a supermarket sweep through the Inverness M&S to buy ourselves a celebration picnic for the sleeper, and a sleeper train from Inverness to Euston, we are very firmly back to reality in London. It seems shockingly loud and busy and frenetic after the lovely peace and tranquility of the Scottish Highlands. Where have all these people come from?????

You'll be reassured to know that Rachel and I made sure we celebrated the end of our trip in style on the sleeper train, with some bubbly (thank you, Albert and Michael K), and two bagfuls of food, which all disappeared alarmingly fast. It's very tricky to take photos while squeezed into the corner of a sleeper carriage, but here you go…

 Before our farewells, we had a final coffee at St Pancras, and assembled our trip rankings, which are as follows:

Best Climb: The one from Fort Augustus to the 7 Lochs view - the 12%-er (special mention to the Cheddar Gorge, and Rachel's and my race to the top)

Best descent: Auchenstroan, in the rain, just before the "hot bacon rolls" lunch break

Best cafe: - tricky, this one, but after much thought, it has to be the cake cafe; Light Ash Farm, south of Lancaster. Special mentions to Churchinford community cafe, which was the end of the beginning, and Carsphairn (Hot bacon rolls). Also to the cafe in Shap, just for being there when we were so cold and wet and in so much need of warming up.

Steepest climb: the small but brutal ascent on the cycle route just before Keynsham, when we were all desperate to stop turning the pedals around.

Best section: - much discussion of this, and no consensus: Jane - Invergarry to Invershin
Matt - Day 2 through Devon
Rachel - Day 3 from Devon to Keynsham through the lovely Somerset Levels
Andy - I can't remember!

Moment of the trip - the Isle of Arran TT (racing to catch the ferry)

Best Coffee: on the Ardrossan Ferry (a Jane and Rachel nomination)

Best accommodation - we stayed in some really great places, with very few turkeys, but the unanimous nomination for best of all was Pentland Lodge House in Thurso for huge and comfortable beds, great breakfast, lovely dogs, and a super-friendly welcome.

Most random food eaten: Chicken and haggis in cajun cream sauce at Eden Bridge House (surprisingly nice, apparently)

Best Sticky Toffee Pudding: Eden Bridge House

Most dangerous meal: The Jalalabad curry in Leominster. What were we thinking? But…..

Best meal: The Jalalabad curry in Leominster

Best paddy - Andy in Cafe Nero in Nantwich (non arrival of raspberry muffin) Jane in closed pub car park near Nantwich (needing to go to the loo) Rachel - midge frenzy in Altnahara Hotel car park

Most inappropriate moment: Rachel behind a tree in Altnahara hotel car park

And finally, the official trip stats: Miles - 1022 (longer than the official distance because we took scenic B roads) Metres climbed - 18328. More than twice the height of Everest. Calories burned - 47,691. Calories consumed - at least 50,000 because I am HEAVIER than when I set out. How is that possible? And now it's all over - but it was undoubtedly a trip none of us will ever forget.

We made it!

Day 13

Thurso to John O Groats.

Miles - 20.1, Calories burned - 910, Metres climbed - 186.

There were times last week, looking at the filthy wet and windy weather forecast, when I wondered whether we would be beaten by the weather. But we have been incredibly lucky, and had light breezes at most, and even some sunshine for much of our time in Scotland - other than the torrential day riding through Ayr to Ardrossan.

Today was more Scottish - a stiff wind, and rain in the air. We knew we had to get to John O Groats and back to catch our train, so we were up for an early breakfast. You know you're on an endurance holiday when your alarm goes off at 6.15.
Andy had a bowl of porridge big enough to sink a battleship, and Matt, for the first time, was defeated by his fry-up. The landlady presented us with a miniature of local single malt to toast our success (just what you want at 7 in the morning), and we were then blown all the way to John O Groats by the wind.

It should have been an amazing moment- it was an amazing moment - but we were momentarily thrown off course by the sight of a bloke posing for a self timer photo in front of the LEJOG sign, then stripping off to his underpants and posing again. He assured us he was going to win £100 in a bed by freezing himself to death and making himself look like an idiot!

Putting him aside, I'm struggling to describe the sense of achievement when we arrived. It's been building over the last couple of days as we've got closer. But to know that you've ridden the entire length of the country, and kept on going for day after day of exhaustion and general bodily pain is a great feeling. It's been a true adventure, a fantastic thing to do with Rachel and Andy, wonderful to share the experience with Angela and Michael, Albert and Rosemary and Ann and Jill, and brilliant to see the variety and loveliness of the UK and to have fleeting encounters with so many friendly people.

Yesterday, I felt I could just keep riding my bike north forever. Now, watching the countryside we rode through pass by from the windows of the train, I feel intensely relieved to be sitting on a comfy seat, with the pink pinarello packed up in the bike compartment.

Last night in Thurso

Day 12
Invergarry to Invershin

Miles - 82.8, Calories burned 3917, Metres climbed -1198

I am writing this on the train from Thurso to Inverness, enjoying the odd sensation of having glorious countryside pass me by without having to exert any effort at all. Yes, over 1000 miles later, after climbing almost the equivalent of Mount Everest TWICE, with not a single puncture to show for it, and having consumed enough cake, bananas, energy bars and cheese toasties to fuel the entire England Rugby World Cup squad for a month, we have made it all the way to John O Groats.

But I am getting ahead of myself - first for Day 12's ride.

We left the friendly, cosy Invershin Hotel waved off by the owner's very sweet very red haired children. Every morning has felt that bit more chilly as we have travelled north, and today we could see our breath in the air. We could also see clouds of midges, still hanging around ready to attack, in spite of the fact that it's mid September. To escape the midges, we headed smartly up the road. We were riding on the A836 all morning. There's nothing very complicated about navigation this far north. And it's the only A road I've ever been on that's singletrack with passing places.

We rode alongside another gorgeous peaty river, and then beside Loch Shin for a while, before we were out on the truly bleak and wild moors, past the legendary Le Crask Inn, which was up for sale - a business opportunity? We recklessly decided it was too early for us to stop for our first lunch, and pushed on to Altnahara - a mistake, because it is about as far from being a metropolis as it is possible to imagine, and the hotel was very firmly closed. We resorted to bananas and energy bars in the car park, with Rachel hopping  around swiping at the midges. You pay a price for still, sunny days this far north.

We spotted at least one buzzard, and a grey heron - a real one this time, rather than the plastic one Andy got so excited about yesterday, and saw starlings lining up by the hundred on telegraph wires. As we rode up the River Naver (Strath Naver) on a tiny B road of immaculately smooth tarmac, we passed the very classy Range Rovers of the local fly fishermen, all fitted out with special fishing rod holders on their bonnets. We speculated about whether they come as standard when you buy a 4WD around here.

And then two excitements almost at the same time - our first sight of the sea... We'd made it to the north coast of the UK... And our first sign to John O Groats!

By the time we struggled up the next hill to the aptly named Betty Hill tearoom, 54 miles in, we were very ready for a break, and the cheerful smiles of Ann and Jill waiting for us were most welcome.

The last 30 miles were extremely tough, and the Victoria Sponge from Betty's only did so much to help. It felt as if we'd gone full circle, and were back in Cornwall, with bleak fishermen's cottages, sheep grazing in the fields above the cliffs, a steep up and down coast road, and bright blue sea and sky. The only things that distinguished it were the distant mountains, and the sight of Dounreay nuclear power station up ahead of us!

And then, at last, in my case feeling shattered yet again, we rolled into Thurso to the friendly and comfortable Pentland Lodge House and for an excellent last night meal with Ann and Jill, ready for an early start for our final day.

20 miles to go....

Well, after over a thousand miles, more hills than I can count, and day after day of sheer exhaustion, our adventure is nearly over. We're in Thurso, with 20 miles left to go, before a mad dash back to catch the train.

The blog about yesterday will have to wait till we're on the train, but here we are on the north coast of Scotland, with Doun Reay nuclear power station in the background - lovely!

There have been many, many moments when we have all asked ourselves how much longer we have to do this for, but now that the end is so close, none of us wants it to end.

More later!

The 7 Loch view

Day 11 Invergarry to Invershin (near Bonar Bridge)

Miles - 98.5, metres climbed - 1424, calories burned 4668.

Today was the kind of day road biking was invented for. The sun was shining as we left the hotel, and our first  6 miles were along a rolling road before turning off and heading uphill along General Wade's military road past Loch Tarff. The river to our right was shimmering in the sunshine, and the sun was shining through the trees, creating stripes of shade on the road. The hills were purple with heather, and green and tawny brown, and the loch was blue under the clear sky.

We arrived at the viewpoint at the top of the climb at the same time as a couple of bikers (motor bikes) from Bradford, who were ultra chatty, and took lots of group photos for us. We all agreed that a glorious day like this was extra wonderful in the knowledge that it was filthy, wet and stormy back at home in London.

The sign at the viewpoint said we could see seven lochs from where we were standing. I'm not sure I could spot all 7, but I could certainly see 3. Having said our farewells to the biker, we had a long and swoopy descent, only stopping when we arrived at a view of Loch Ness that was so perfect, it looked as if it had been photo shopped.

We rolled into Inverness for lunch sitting outside by the river - who'd have thought it, in late September? Then on over the Kessock Bridge across the Beauly Firth, and along the coast, before heading inland past Cromarty. Last week in the Community Cafe and when we passed a ploughing competition, we felt as if we were in an episode of The Archers. Today we were in the shipping forecast. Which Radio 4 programme will be next?

Lunch no 2 was in Alness, a former Britain in Bloom winner, with hanging baskets as far as the eye could see. At this point, we felt as if we'd gone back to the Midlands - the landscape was back to being rolling farmland, with pretty cottages by the road, and tractors grinding past us, and huge bales of golden straw lined up in the fields. But before long we were in Scottish heather and bracken again, with a blue and brown loch below us.

Our last 20 miles were pretty hard going, but we kept up our pace by riding nose to tail, and finally got to our hotel at 7.15 to find Ann and Jill waiting for us. There was a fire going in the bar, and we ate a very welcome dinner. Tomorrow another big day awaits us. Unbelievably, our last big ride, just as I'm really beginning to enjoy it, and it looks as if our luck on the weather is about to come to an end....
 

You take the high road and we'll take the low road...

Day 9 - Kilmelford to Invergarry Miles 85.8, calories burned 4016, metres climbed - 1120. We had high expectations of breakfast, having seen the visitor's book, and it didn't disappoint.

I fear the same may not have been true for Rosemary and Albert. Sadly, Glenmore Country House only had two rooms, so they had to make do with the Cuilfail hotel down the road. Once again, they provided us with enough snacks to power us all the way to John O Groats. We said our farewells, before heading down the road, crossing our fingers for the weather, which was looking much better than predicted.

After our "rest" day yesterday, I was feeling good, and powered my way up the hill from the village, and along the road by the loch, enjoying the good weather and lovely views. Andy was ahead, and Rachel behind. The route was straightforward - just one turnoff a few miles before Oban to take the nice quiet road rather than the A road to Fort William. Unfortunately, none of us noticed when we zoomed past the turnoff, and Matt, just behind, was left texting and phoning each of us in vain. The three of us rolled into Oban with a look of dismay on our faces, as we realised where we were. So while Matt enjoyed the quiet country route to Connel, we whizzed along the A 82 accompanied by multiple lorries and cars.

Luckily, we all arrived at the same time, and we stuck close together as we continued on towards Fort William, enjoying a road which had been attended to by the work experience white line painter. There were bits of white line blobbed all over the road.  We stopped for lunch no 1 just outside Appin in a cafe  with stunning views and enjoyed the feeling of being the youngest in the place by some decades. Rachel liked the sofas so much she didn't want to leave.

Sections of the road had the smoothest, newest cycle path Tarmac running next to them. Non cyclists will have no idea how much difference the quality of the surface can make, and the road was pretty rough, so it came in very welcome. We applauded Nicola Sturgeon's investment in cycle path maintenance.

The rain finally arrived just before we got to Fort William, but even then it was only a shower, and we could see from the roads that we'd missed much worse.
We were glad to get away from the traffic and mad drivers north of Fort William and to get back onto quiet roads.

We were back to cafe free countryside, but just as Rachel's and my spirits were distinctly flagging, Andy and Matt spotted a posh hotel by the road serving tea. I'm not sure how pleased they were to see four cycling scruffs, but their scone gave me the energy for the last 20 miles to Invergarry.

Ann drove us over to Fort Augustus for dinner with her and Jill. The sticky toffee pudding went down very well.

Another great day, and the end seems to be rushing towards us. Having spent the last two weeks asking myself how much longer I have to do this for, I now don't want it to end.

Ferry Day

Miles - 61.9, calories burned - 2960, metres climbed - 953 Ardrossan to Kilmelford, Day 8 (yesterday was actually Day 7) Today was the day Rachel and I have been looking forward to since about day 2 - the closest we get to a rest day, when we have the opportunity to sit on not one but two ferries, and only (!) have to ride 60 miles. I have to say, much as I may now be spending a lot of time complaining about rain, sore legs, general exhaustion etc etc, today was a fantastic day, and not just because we got to sit in the Ardrossan to Brodick (on Arran) ferry and drink cappuccino for nearly an hour. For one thing, we had glorious, uninterrupted sunshine until mid-afternoon, reminding us that while Scotland is breathtakingly lovely in any weather, it's especially spectacular in the sun. And for another, the scenery was stunning - real Highlands and Islands splendour. Just in case we thought we were having a rest day, Matt told us that we needed to aim for the 12pm Lochranza ferry. We were late getting off the Brodick Ferry, leaving us barely more than an hour to ride 14 miles up and over Arran. We pelted up the climb, whizzed down the other side, Rachel nearly took out an old man quietly crossing the road in Lochranza, and we made the ferry with 3 minutes to spare. Andy christened it the Isle of Arran TT. We rewarded ourselves with the monster flapjacks and millionaire shortbreads we'd bought in the Cheshire mega cake shop a couple of days ago, (more than compensating for the calories we'd just burned) and basked in the sun for half an hour.

Then it was a quick 10 miles to lunch outside Tarburt. Just the one lunch today - the shorter ride and the mega snacks on the ferry didn't justify a second one. After a few miles of drafting (ie - for any non cyclists reading this - riding close to each other, taking turns on the front to conserve energy) up a busy road along the coast, we turned off the main road up a canal with multiple lochs, and then up a sea loch, looking out for seals (didn't see any), and across Moon Morh, a flat and reedy stretch with mountains behind, and sheep hiding in the grasses, before finally arriving at the splendidly grand Glenmore Country House in Kilmelford, where we sat in the drawing room overlooking the loch, drinking tea and eating scones. Then a bit of a midge-ridden walk down to the village to meet Rosemary and Albert for dinner in the Cuilfail Hotel, complete with bagpipes on the wall and every variety of single malt you can imagine. The game on the way home up the muddy track in the dark was scaring Rachel with ghost stories. We went to bed quaking at the prospect of another wet and - even worse - windy forecast for tomorrow. Sorry - late blog because of flakey wifi.

Scottish Monsoon

Day 8 - Dumfries to Ardrossan

Miles -82.5 (luxury), Calories burned  - 3836, metres climbed - 1087

Today we had some of the most gorgeous riding of the whole trip - through lovely countryside,  past peaty streams, rolling hills, ancient woodland, birds of prey circling overhead, fly fishermen up to their thighs in Salmon rivers, along silky smooth tarmac....

I'd like to show you a picture, but it was teeming down with so much rain, there wasn't a chance. It was a day for which the expression "raining stair rods" was invented. So instead, here's a picture of us sheltering in a bus stop in Moniaive:

M

Point of note from the bus stop - it wouldn't be good to miss the bus to Castle Douglas. If you did, the next one wouldn't come for another fortnight; the Port Douglas bus runs every other Thursday, and comes back 3 hours later. The no 30 from Hackney it certainly isn't. 

About once an hour, there was a tantalising five minute interlude when the rain stopped and the sun came out, but just as we began to relax into nice weather, it would start to tip down again. Matt had given us a stern warning that cafes in Scotland would be thin on the ground, especially on a Sunday. By the time we got to to Carsphaire, we were really hoping he was wrong. It's hard to describe how ecstatic I was when I spotted the sign to the village cafe;

It was another of those cafe high spots, when spirits were lifted immeasurably by the scrumptious food. We spread our soggy clothes across most of the cafe, created puddles on the floor and ate bacon, egg and cheese bagels and flapjacks. Yum. But in spite of the shocking weather, the riding was fantastic. The descent through Auchenstroan Forest was voted the best of the whole trip. We pelted along, barely feeling the morning aches and tiredness. We arrived in Ayr in time for yet another monsoon, and found another fabulous, though rather genteel cafe for millionaires shortbread and - in Matt's case - Banoffee pie.

I think they were a bit dismayed by the arrival of 4 sopping wet roadies dripping puddles on the floor and creating wet footprints everywhere. The minute we left, they had the mop out. For the last 20 miles of our trip, the sun finally came out. We got to Ardrossan to find Alberrt, Rosemary, Anne and Jill sitting in the sun outside our hotel. It hadn't rained there all day. I think we travelled with the bad weather. Once again, we had an early night, all ready for tomorrow - ferry day - when we get to sit on a boat for 45 minutes, and only have to ride 60 miles. These days, that qualifies as relaxation for me!

Scotland and sticky toffee pudding

Day 7: Tewitfield to Dumfries. Scotland!

Miles - 96.3, calories consumed - 4419. Calories taken in through sticky toffee pudding - about 4500 (not quite as bad as yesterday's cake) Metres climbed 1256.

I lay in bed in the middle of the night listening to the rain drumming down, with a sinking heart - and it was still chucking down in the morning. But by the evening, we were riding through lovely autumn sunshine. It was a long, long day, but another good one.

We left Tewitfield in light drizzle, and were soon riding up tiny roads with grass growing down the middle, and hints that it was brightening up. But by the time we were heading up the A6 to Shap, the rain was monsoon-like. As I ground my way up the 15 mile climb, I did have several moments of reflecting that this was supposed to be my summer holiday.

 

In the cafe in Shap where we stopped for lunch no 1, Andy had a puddle under his chair, there was so much water coming off him. But splendid baked potatoes restored our spirits, and we rapidly whizzed down to Penrith to meet Albert and Rosemary for a snack top up and to say hello to Melvin and his wife.

The road to Carlisle was smooth and straight, and it was drying up; so much so, we ate lunch number 2 sitting outside, watching the locals getting their Saturday nights going early, all dolled up to the nines. Goodness only knows what they made of us.

As we left England for Scotland, some observations on the last 8 days:

1 - Every town or village  we went through with any kind of business in it had a hairdresser. Every one. Even if there was no post office, cafe or shop. Who are all these people getting their hair done?

2 - I have never seen so many pet-related businesses. Pet hotels, pet cemeteries and crematoria - one crematorium just down the road from a pet hotel - for when the stay doesn't go so well? Dog dentists, dog walking, dog grooming....

3 - there are an astonishing number of BT openreach vans. Why don't some of them head over to North Yorkshire to sort out the broadband there?

We are an increasingly decrepit and ragged bunch. We have sore bums, sore legs, sore shoulders, sore backs, and bone-weary bodies. And we still have about 450 miles to go.

Even so, arriving in Scotland was a great feeling. Cycling through the Scottish Borders in the evening sunshine was magical. But the best feeling was arriving in Dumfries after a very long day. Especially when we ended our meal with some high quality sticky toffee pudding, in honour of Andy Coombes, king of Sticky Toffee Pudding, and Jo, who should be here with us. Cheers to them both. Route: Tewitfield - Milnthorpe - Kendal - Shap - Penrith - Carlisle - Gretna - Annan - Dumfries.

Cake Nirvana

Day 6. Acton Bridge to Tewitsfield
Miles - 93.4 (half way there!) Calories burned - 4225 Cake calories consumed - at least 5000. Metres climbed - 945 (puny!)

The picture really doesn't do it justice. This Farm Shop cafe north of Preston sold the biggest and most amazing cakes I have ever seen. We couldn't have found it at a better time. Spirits were seriously flagging after a long ride north from Ash House farm (more on that later) through the industrialisation of Wigan and Warrington, past Manchester and Liverpool. Fast cycling with a good tail wind, but still tiring, and a shortage of places to eat. Matt was just consulting his map for possible destinations, when a local biker stopped and asked if he could help. He directed us to the cafe with the assurance that it was unquestionably the best cafe for miles, and with the warning - the cakes are dangerous. He wasn't joking. Mine had six layers.

It was a long way from Ash House Farm, a nice old farmhouse run by Sue - a woman with the woes of the world on her shoulders. Her husband had had a stroke, her son was married to a good for nothing who drank all day, she had to look after her granddaughter 4 days a week, her daughter was getting married in a fortnight and she had to organise everything.... We were clearly a major hindrance, and breakfast was perfunctory to say the least. Nothing we could do would persuade her to crack a smile.

Albert and Rosemary did us proud, producing an array of snacks for our day, and we headed off through the pretty Cheshire countryside. Matt did an amazing job of making us feel we weren't in one of the most built up parts of the country - but even so, more cars passed us today than the rest of the week put together.

This was the moment when we crossed the Manchester Ship canal. We're properly up north now!

By the time we got to Longlands Hotel south of the Lake District, we were all over-sunned and weary. Looming ahead - the hills of the Lake District, and the prospect of the first rain all week. Serious amounts of rain. Lovely!

The Jalalabad revenge

Leominster to Acton Bridge (Cheshire)

Well, the Jalalabad turned out to be a seriously reckless move. The plumbing of Highgate House may never recover and we were all a little more circumspect than usual over the quantities of breakfast we ate this morning.

After some WD40ing - mainly to try to stop the squeaking mice that have been a feature of my riding over the last few days, we said our farewells to Angela and Michael, who were preparing to hand over the baton of chief baggage transporters  to Albert and Rosemary. It's been fantastic to have their cheerful support over the last few days. Thank you very much for keeping us going with cream teas and pints of beer at appropriate moments!

We headed off in cloud, through the last of Herefordshire into the rolling Shropshire Hills. We all feel we're getting to see bits of the UK we really didn't know before, and have been adding lovely old houses to our shortlist of fantasy places to live, as well as building up our list of potential weekend break destinations. Both Ludlow and Much Wenlock went on the list. We met some local bikers at an excellent cafe in the centre of Much Wenlock - which is apparently what gave the Olympic mascot Wenlock its name. Who knew?

By now the sun was out, and we headed up another lovely valley, with the Severn winding along below us, looking rather more modest than it had done under the Severn Bridge 24 hours ago.

Observations from the roads:
There are a LOT of tractors around. Where do they all go when it isn't harvest time?
There are some delightfully courteous drivers, and some complete idiots, who take ridiculous risks just to get home 5 minutes earlier. Bristol and Cheshire win the prizes for having the prime idiots so far.
(Not a road observation, but still).... Sudocrem is amazing for saddle soreness. Soreness of all sorts is setting in in a big way.

Lunch no 2 took a very long time to materialise, and there was a sens of humour failure when we got lost and bypassed our planned stop. By the time we got to Nantwich we had been going for 55 miles without a break, and resorted to Cafe Nero, which was a bit of a comedown after all the great cafes we've visited, but was a LOT better than nothing.

On through the busy rush hour roads of Cheshire, and we finally found Ash House Farm in Acton Bridge  just before we hit 100 miles, in time for a badly needed dinner  with Albert and Rosemary and another good sleep.

Route: Leominster, Ludlow, Aston Munslow, Much Wenlock, Market Drayton, Church Minshull, Weaverton, Acton Bridge.

Whoops  - forgot the stats: miles - 100, Calories - 4510, Metres climbed - 1398

Wales for less than half an hour

Keynsham to Leominster
Miles - 81.9. calories 3861. climbing 1523 metres
Day 4
The two lunch approach worked so well yesterday, we have decided to make it part of our routine. The question is - will we be able to break it when we get home?!

Fewer hills today, but a lot of winding along small roads between Bristol and the Severn Bridge involving lots of map reading, which made us much slower than we should have been. We decided that there were some rather nice houses in the villages around Bristol. Three years at university there, and I had no idea what it was like a few miles outside the city centre.

The Severn Bridge crossing was a highlight, and we briefly swung through a corner of Wales before stopping in Chepstow for lunch number one. The cafe had wifi, which gave me the chance to blog for the first time in a couple of days.

The next section took us up the lovely Wye valley, with beautiful views across the river and more up and down until we rolled into Ross on Wye for an excellent second lunch. Andy and I opted for a first rate Tortilla - Matt went down the full chilli route. Good reason not to ride behind him in the  afternoon.

We met a fellow end to ender, who had seen us at the start and recognised Rachel's pink bike, and then wound our way up another lovely valley alongside the Wye, past fields of fine Hereford cattle and rolling golden wheat fields with the bales lined up in rows.

For our last evening with Angela and Michael, we celebrated making it a third of the way to John O Groats with a curry at the Jalalabad. Delicious, but possibly an unwise decision.

Two lunches in Somerset

Day 3 - two lunches in Somerset. Thelbridge Cross to Keynsham
Miles - 95.5. Hours riding - 7 hours 20. Meters climbed - 1791. Calories - easily 4500. My gps died, so not sure.

Over another splendid breakfast, we were all looking decidedly as if the reality of what we have taken on was sinking in. Today was 20 miles further, with more climbing, including 2 miles up the Cheddar Gorge in the final third of the ride. And we were already pretty shattered.

The day didn't start well - we were off the edge of the map, and as a result, went wrong and ended up going down a long hill and back up the other side, and then having to retrace our steps. 3 miles we knew we'd need later on. We managed to avoid shouting at the navigator (Matt). After all, we wouldn't get very far without him! Then the sun went in and the breeze got up, and we started feeling a little chilly. But we rolled through more beautiful countryside - increasingly prosperous, with grand old houses, and chocolate box villages full of thatched cottages. But in spite of the lovely views, there wasn't much conversation going on.

The plan was for a coffee after the first 30 miles in Churchinford, just over the border in Somerset. Some fellow bikers directed us to the community shop and cafe, which turned out to be a fabulous bit of Middle England - the good ladies of Churchinford, bustling around us, plying us with coffee and Sandra's splendid Lamb Baguettes, and asking all about our trip. As we left, the sun came out, and things suddenly seemed a whole lot better.

After a few more miles of rolling hills, we arrived at the Somerset levels. Never has riding on the flat seemed such a delight. My expectation, shaped by last winter's floods, was for something slightly muddy and uninspiring, but the reality was reed- fringed waterways with lush green meadows, cows and sheep grazing, and a general sense of tranquility.  Lovely.
We passed Glastonbury Tor and spun over a couple of other hills, feeling full of beans, and enjoying the attractive villages and grand old houses. By mid afternoon we were in Wedmore, just before Cheddar, and applauding the great choice of tea shops. We stopped in Nan's kitchen garden for lunch number two - cheddar sandwiches - what else? -  and a heart stopping flapjack for me. Two lunches. That's the way to go!

Despite being buoyed up by more enthusiasm about out trip from other customers, we left feeling tired and a little daunted at the prospect of Cheddar Gorge looming ahead of us. But it turned out to be a good climb, with only a few really challenging sections, and Rachel and I powered up it in tandem. Andy, as usual, was ahead, and Matt was busy trying to get decent photos.

Our last few miles were hilly and a bit circuitous, through the back lanes south of Bristol, past more pretty villages and lunatic Bristol drivers with no interest in preserving the safety of cyclists. Finally we rolled into Claridges B and B, which is a bit like staying with the Lord and Lady of the manor. Our bedroom is bigger than the last three night's rooms all put together,with another two bedrooms-worth for the giant bathroom hidden behind a wardrobe door. The bed twangs alarmingly, but at this stage nothing will stand between me and a good night's sleep.

We headed into Keynsham to a surprisingly packed pub to meet my university friend Sara and her cycling partner Oliver - and at 10.15 my eyes are still open. Am I getting used to this cycling lark?

Devon potholes

Day 2
Devon potholes

Miles - 74.6 miles. Calories - 3773. Metres climbed - 1755. Cream teas - 1 - at last!

Two observations about Devon:
1 - the Council really needs to sort out the potholes
2 - it's almost as pathetic as Cornwall on the cream tea front.

We set out to more blue skies and glorious sunshine, and a lovely still day, which was a novelty after non stop riding in the wind over the last few months.

Glorious riding through Cornish country lanes, some so sunken and narrow you couldn't see beyond the next corner, the rest of the time with glorious views of hills, and swifts beginning to get together on the electricity cables ready to fly off to Africa for winter.

Again, the teeny little villages failed to offer us anything in the way of chilled out cafe stops, until lunch in Holsworthy, where we weighed ourselves down with the most enormous baked potatoes.

In the afternoon, we crossed the border into Devon - country number 2 - and almost instantly, the roads deteriorated, with the very up and down little lanes feeling more like mountain bike routes in places. Along with the dappled sunshine, which made it almost impossible to see the potholes, it was all a bit of a challenge.

We were hoping to find tea in Wingleigh, and managed to lose Andy there, but after regrouping at the garage, having re-found Andy and failed - again - to find an open cafe, we had energy bars in the garage forecourt and carried on. We know how to holiday!

The last section - more hills - felt tough, and we were hugely relieved to roll into Thelbridge Cross to the lovely sight of Angela and Michael sitting in the front of the pub with pots of tea in front of them. Even better, they then rustled up a cream tea. At last! And worth the wait.

I have to say, I think we could have been better company over dinner, and Matt and I were in bed by 9.30. Exhausted doesn't really describe it adequately. Still, no one said it was going to be easy.

Cornwall without cream teas

Day 1. Lands End to Bodmin. miles 70.9, metres of climbing 1700 (ouch), calories burned 3639, cakes and cream teas eaten - NONE. Major failure.

So- we woke up to sunshine and a cloudless blue sky. After consuming large quantities of breakfast, we cruised down the road to Lands End for our official start - to discover crowds of other cyclists doing the same thing. We elbowed our way to the sign and got the obligatory picture:

You'd never know it was like Oxford Street tube at 9 o clock in the morning, would you?!

And then we were off. Matt had cunningly plotted a route on the smallest, most obscure B roads, so we quickly lost the other end-to-enders. We passed from gorse covered moorland with old Celtic crosses to heather in full purple glory on the sides of hills which had all the old tin mine buildings and towers on them - via Penzance and St Michael's Mount, and through Camborne, as a reminder that not all of Cornwall is Fulham-on-sea. At that point, Rachel and I had been promised coffee, and were more than a little distressed when we cruised through Camborne and onto the next village, with the promise that we'd stop at the next coffee shop. There was no next coffee shop, and we eventually had to resort to my banana cake/heap of crumbs and water, sitting on a bench by the side of the road. Thankfully we found a lunch cafe in Perranporth, and watched the surfers and beach goers eyeing up my lovely pink pinarello while we ate our paninis.

The afternoon was rather relentlessly up and down, with no cycling on the flat at all. I was entertained by all the strange place names we passed. Praze-an-beeble and Goonhavern were particular highlights.

Part of my afternoon requirement was a Cornish Cream tea, but village after village failed to deliver. We rode round St Columb Major three times in the hope that a cafe would materialise, with no joy. I had to make do with a Rhubard and Custard energy gel and the hope that our hotel would do teas. By the time we got there, my legs were beginning to get decidedly unamused by the non stop ups and downs, and I was beginning to worry that I was going to be the eternal slowie at the back of the group. But a cup of tea in the sun cheered me up, and a beer is now imminent. Angela and Michael appeared looking decidedly more bouncy than us. So - food, drink, sleep, and then we'll do it all again tomorrow!

London-Penzance-Sennen

12.9 miles, not very fast, not much climbing.

After an early start we all convened at Paddington, for a long train ride on a packed train.

 A nice easy start riding from Penzance station to Sennen lulled us into a false sense of security. But just in case we felt a bit too relaxed about what's to come, it was raining, with a brisk north wind as we rode up to the B and B. 

I've eyed up a nice looking place for dinner on the beach, then an early night ready for day 1 proper tomorrow!

Y

T

Ready to go!

Friday night, and we've just finished our farewell meal of large quantities of pasta. There's nothing to beat carb loading! Tomorrow morning, we cycle to Paddington, and get the train from Penzance. From there, it's about 12 miles to the start. I can't quite believe it's time to begin, after all this planning.
So - these are the questions people keep asking me....

Q - how far are you going?
A - about 1100 miles. In 12 days. Yes. 90-100 miles a day with a lot of hills.

Q - what's the route?
A - Lands End, Bodmin, Thelbridge Cross, Keynsham (near Bristol), Leominster, Acton Bridge, Carnforth, Dumfries, Ardrossan, Arduaine, Invergarry, Bonar Bridge, Thurso, John O Groats, then train to Inverness and sleeper train to London. No tents. Nice B and Bs, good food and lots of cake.

Q - what about your luggage?

A - we have a rota of parents following in our wake with bags of clean cycle kit. We won't be getting smelly!

More from en route - bye for now!